DECISION DAY!

ROUSSELLE VAN BUMSHAFTEN has until midnight on Thursday to decide on the future of his corkscrew penis.

HE HAS BEEN BEEN OFFERED THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS:

1/ MAINTAIN THE STATUS QUO.

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2/ AMPUTATION WITH GRAFTING ON OF NEW ROCKET PENIS (HIGH RISK OF REJECTION).

3/ AMPUTATION AND CREATION OF A PROSTHETIC VULVA AND VAGINA (FAKE FANNY).

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Mortonjag and the Monkey will update their readers as details emerge!

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BREAKING NEWS – JOHNNY LIAR RODE CHRISTINE TO VICTORY AGAIN LAST NIGHT. WHAT A BOY!

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