When Jim Gallacher was reported to Strathclyde C.I.D., after an alleged deficit from the acclaimed ‘Stars of ’79’ celebration, the prime movers were Danny Goodwin and Andy Morrison – a pair of neurotic old ‘sweetie wives’ who simply disliked ‘Wee Jim’!

Ex-policeman ‘Constable Goodwank’ Goodwin’s ‘nose was in a poke’ because there was no sign of all that lovely MUNNY he and Stuart Duncan had imagined would be realised for their ill-fated Inverclyde Football Academy from a ‘not for profit’ event, while fusspot ‘Hen Broon’ Morrison was raging because his ‘ground rules’ had allegedly been broken by those who stepped up to the plate when he and Goodwank bottled out.

Instead those two bastions of Morton society produced a limited edition D.V.D. which realised £1800 – money which was DELIBERATELY excluded from the Stars of ’79 accounts! In the final analysis that event generated a four figure profit and was a credit to Jim Gallacher’s six month long efforts!

Less creditable were those of co-organiser Sean ‘Doors’ Donnelly, who couldn’t account for some £1200 of his ticket income, and had previously contrived to lose a bucketful of money in circumstances which suggested he was trying to ‘cover something up’.

‘Doors’ just couldn’t believe his luck when they targeted his co-organiser, and wasted no time putting in his tuppenceworth. Under pressure from those three ‘no-marks’, Morton Trust Chairman Stuart Duncan showed where he ‘stood at times of adversity’ when he melted like a chocolate teapot, joined forces with the conspirators, and proceeded to make a laughing stock of himself and his beloved Trust.

Jim Gallacher was thoroughly ‘grilled’ by Strathclyde C.I.D. His employers were interviewed, and all of the ‘evidence’ supplied by both sides was meticulously examined before they concluded that he had ‘no case to answer’.


…BUT bumbling ‘Constable Goodwank’ thought he knew much better than the real ‘Polis’, while gutless Dunco lent his support to the ensuing ‘trial by message board’ on – willingly aided and abetted by David Bell the Morton photographer and website owner.



The plan was to ‘destroy’ Jim Gallacher and discredit those who supported him but it failed miserably. Those who knew the truth were undeterred by blatant and unmoderated defamations from members of the now defunct A.H.M.S., and having boasted of ‘further investigation’ and ‘civil action’, Dunco and his troupe of clowns were left ‘spinning on the spot’.

‘Vastly experienced’ Wemyss Bay bean counter ‘Slick Nick’ Robinson couldn’t resist the chance to muscle in on the Morton scene, and ‘offered his services’ to the Trust. In no time at all, ‘The TOADMEISTER’ (thus nicknamed  for his slavering ‘tea boy’ toadying to Douglas Rae) was charged with nailing Jim Gallacher.

It was a thankless task for any accountant with a grain of common sense and self respect, but insular Shipmanesque arrogance appears to be a common attribute of single-handed insolvency practitioners

Because Dunco had sanctioned a ‘cash in hand’ event to avoid paying V.A.T. and maximise income for that doomed Inverclyde Football Academy, there was ‘no proper paper trail’, and the C.I.D. had called into question the Trust’s accounting practices.

Furthermore, during the event, Stuart Duncan, Sean Donnelly, eight raffle sellers, and a dozen bar staff all handled substantial quantities of cash with no accounting for any of their transactions.

Nick Robinson had no interest in those inconvenient facts. With sights firmly fixed on incriminating Jim Gallacher, he was prepared to go to extraordinary lengths in an attempt to achieve his goal – something to which his intended victim’s creditors will surely testify!

The TOADMEISTER had not attended the event, but it well suited his purposes to accept Dunco’s version of ‘the truth’, while refusing Jim Gallacher’s genuine offer of a meeting to ‘go through the figures with him’.

Professional standards were abandoned as Slick Nick set about ‘making everything fit’ – that typified by his inclusion in his accounts of a fiercely disputed sum of £600 on the strength of Dunco’s perjurious witness statement! 

Those TOADMEISTER ‘accounts’ were a none too subtle juggling of Jim Gallacher’s figures, while his ‘presentation’ was based on hearsay and guesswork. An independent accountant had described the whole caboodle as ’the stuff of fairy tales’, but the self-proclaimed ‘vastly experienced insolvency practitioner’ was confident that a Court would be convinced by said ‘vast experience’ – so much so that he risibly touted himself to Blair & Bryden LL.P. as a ‘forensic accountant’ until challenged by Mr Gallacher’s solicitor!

With such an accounting ‘Atlas’ leading their ‘prosecution’, Dunco and his clowns were confident of success – BUT there was a slight problem.

The TOADMEISTER was not qualified to represent the G.M.S.T. in court!